"United we stand, divided we fall." So much for THAT motto.

Preface: In keeping with a good friend's resolution to begin using retaliatory argot as a means to respond to conservative media, I have decided I shall join him. Hence, I shall refer to republicans as “lambs”. Given the right's attachment to religion, “sheeple” isn't quite the word I want. My atheist father used to quote an old saying his Southern Baptist father taught him: “I am Jesus' little lamb, yes, by Jesus Christ I am.” Lambs. Never mind the “led to slaughter” reference – that's a given.

I have decided to read everything I can about The Bluegrass State's latest political oddity, Rand Paul.

Not just another wingnut; he appears to be The Wingnut, latest in a long line of candidates for Bizarre Voice of the Right that we've all been waiting for. By “we” I mean dems and pubs alike, for no political agenda can exist without sides, and there are an awful lot of goddamn sides to the GOP lately.

Rand Paul seems to be a good replacement for The Oily One, Sarah Palin, for the position of Divider. The Republican party has been trampled like a ant's nest by divisiveness lately, and seems diligent enough in it's efforts to pull the covers over it's fringes, especially given the outbreak of the teabagger movement's predisposition to carry their message in particularly idiotic fashion. Besides, every time The Oily One opens her mouth something peculiar comes out of it which causes “her” party to shake it's head like a parent observing a wayward child. The nasal babble she produces sells books, though.

Rand Paul seemed at first to be a classic clown in this very mold. His hysterically sputtering debut with Rachel Maddow didn't likely earn him big points with the GOP, where it's best to hate black, gay, atheist, or educated people in private, all the better to look tolerant. His reaction to that fiasco lately, to whack his whole staff and begin to remold himself, is possibly too little too late...but then again, I wonder.

This guy has something Sarah Palin lacks. He has something a lot of politicians – thinly veiled criminals all, in my book – are missing.

I suspect he has true resolve.

That's what I said about Bambam when he was campaigning and it still looked like Hillary was going to trounce him: “this Obama guy has resolve.” A true believer. One without lack of conviction. General confidence in things.

Rand Paul is unknown to me: he may be a hillbilly nitwit, perhaps educated no further than the third grade, or maybe psychotically deranged; but if any of these is true it is possibly equally irrelevant. Had The Oily One been more cautious about her relentlessly insipid palaver she'd be more widely considered a keeper by the lambs, sure, but were she in possession of actual resolution and focus she could say “drill, baby, drill” and tap dance gaily away without it becoming that tiring but highly functional buzzword for her enemies. John McCain, himself a man of some resolve, barfed up a Beach Boys remix of “bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran” and doddered away unscathed, despite the queer dumbassedness of it all.

Rand Paul seems to have resolve in spades, I think. Not that I think that's a good thing. His comment, “I see that Christianity and values is the basis of our society” is, frankly, terrifying to behold; not just because it is patently and obviously untrue, but because it is clear he believes it completely, as if he sees the modern world through the dismal haze wrought of the smoke of Southern Presbyterian hellfire and brimstone.

While it should be remembered that men and women of resolve can do amazing things, not all amazing things are good things, and this little guy has an obviously Jesus-fueled “theonomic” (I believe I will learn to love the sickening irony of that new word) agenda which, while not the most popular, is fairly easy to for the lambs to digest, and even easier to spit violently at their opposition.


  1. I find the whole concept of theonomy (in this country anyway) frankly terrifying. Freedom of religion is the FIRST amendment. Part of, you know... that thingy. That Bill Of Rights thingy. And yet, it's becoming very hip NOT to have tolerance for other religions - and, god forbid (snicker), you actually want to teach your kids about religion yourself instead of having your public schools do it for you. "It's under God, or get out." is the popular slogan these days. It makes me tremble.

  2. The Oily One, Sarah Palin, Divider-in-Chief. Just reading that gives me the heebie jeebies!

    "While it should be remembered that men and women of resolve can do amazing things, not all amazing things are good things" Dead on, Mr. Cat!

    Sadly, I wasn't of the theonomic movement, as so named, anyway. In researching the term, I found this scary shit right here: http://www.hisglory.us/ If that doesn't put poop in your nickers, I don't know what will.

    Schuyler, I hope your friend can keep his resolution and not be a little pansy when faced with the opportunity to test his resolve. His been known to do the latter at times and he tries to play it off to his being a "nice guy". Maybe he can work on that. ;-)

    Great stuff, as usual! :-)

  3. "The Oily One"! I love it!

    Also I'm struck of the insight of your observation of "resolve". Come to think of it the only resolve the Oily One seems to have is to make big bucks, but Rand Paul, you're right, his resolve is scary. Luckily he's a fumbler, hope he remains that way....

    By the way, it's Dr Rand Paul, the opthalmologist half of whose patients are on Medicare..... as for Christian values, how many so called "fundamentalists" do you know who follow Leviticus in other things than a pretext for hatred? Have you seen any of them sacrifice a turtle dove every Sabath, oh and also totally destroy a dwelling if a spot of mildew is found in it, and marry their brother's widow, etc etc etc....