The world's oldest profession is an oily one these days.

Not hard to find something to rant about, and this one does go on a bit.

TL;DR - 1.) Suck dick. 2.) Get elected, 3.) ??? 4.) Others profit!

Depending upon who you listen to, some 25,000 to 100,000 barrels of oil per day are discharging energetically into the Gulf of Mexico from a failed wellhead five thousand feet under the surface. Images emerge: oil covered animals; fishermen frittering their time idly by silent boats; workers trudging through ankle-high muck raking up the oil on the beaches but too afraid to speak to news crews for fear of losing what little income they can gather from BP; and Tony Hayward behaving like a snotty petulant child, touring the beaches with snide grimness and bitching about how difficult his otherwise fabulous life has become. That is, until the board at BP realized he was a less-than-agile spokesman for this event and sent him packing to his yacht club for healing rest.

This we will tolerate, because we have to. At the expense of sounding completely wrong, I will say it again. We have to.

Joe Barton's simpering and smarmy apology to BP was a loud and terrifying ribbon placed on the gift we'll soon give BP, which will be – despite President Obama's claim that BP will “pay for it” – a free pass to keep drilling for oil which they can then sell to Americans who cannot find the means to stop needing it.

This is not an indictment of BP: they are doing what we beg them to, after all. We beg them to because they pay some of us to beg them, hence Senator Barton's obsequious and disgusting apology, a putrid pat on the back that needed saying in order to allow that fetid industry to understand it may continue to ride roughshod over every square inch of land they defile in order to get more oil into America-bound tankers. BP is not “permitted” to do these things. Rather, it is demanded of them. This demand will be fettered with rewards if they can simply bring this fiasco under control and begin collection the remaining oil, rather than allowing it to flow onto beaches in Louisiana, where it is evidently wasted. The twenty million dollar escrow account they were “forced” to set up is likely the end of it. A gentle little slap on the wrist it is, too: there's how much oil in that goddamn hole? Certainly more than twenty billion dollars' worth, I don't know. Ask Joe Barton.

This is not an indictment of the entire oil industry either, for they just haven't sinned like this in front of a crowd that is so interconnected by media. All do the same thing the same way, all over the world, anywhere they can negotiate, subjugate, or in extreme cases invent a war and fight, their way into. The need is far greater than the value of foreign and domestic lives. Congressmen, senators, presidents, irrespective of party affiliation, have long suckled upon the same teat of campaign finance and ascent to power, fueled not by idealism but the shiny thing at the end of that rainbow sheen of oil glistening on the surface of the water and twinkling in the sunlight: a pot of full of sickening power wrought of the rape of the planet.

This is not an indictment of a single political system, party, or ideal. Politics is nothing more than money and power. Money knows no boundaries, has no affection for a particular idea or force, cannot sense the difference between good and evil. It's a stack of wrinkled currency, bank notes stamped with care and precision and thrown about by the average American at the rate of, they say, $59 a day, not including rent, mortgages, car payments; that's spending money. Power has no face, no color, no personality, it is simply another bright object feverishly sought by otherwise normal, average, weak minded fools like anyone else, a means to engage inner senses that otherwise would feel unfulfilled. Politics is the extreme sport of being an average human. The practice is a closed system which create addicts with no purpose other than creating and enjoying that monied, powerful space for it's own sake.

If this is an indictment then, there must be a root cause. Industries, politics, greed, power, damage; these are symptoms. Symptoms are not available to a vacuum, they require a host.

Humans are that host, and the particular humans in the case of the unimaginable idiocy in the Gulf of Mexico (amid a host of other evils) sit in one small region of the planet, an otherwise uninteresting place were it not for the concentration of human excreta which have been elected, appointed, and installed into their seats of power; never mind the business, and never mind the partisanship. It's the people, and the guilty ones – every single one of them, no matter how beloved – are the politicians of the United States of America.

Starting from the top.

I voted for Barack Obama with a sense of hopefulness amid the dread that he was, like the previous 43 presidents before him, just another marionette wired to the will of the industries he exchanged our futures away to. On his knees, penitent and needy before the special interests and industries and businesses and corporations, he vowed to preserve their futures above and beyond the future of me and my family. Like a well-toned and erudite gigolo he negotiated for their dollars with promises to promote their agendas, and sold you and I and everyone we love into the slavery only a corrupt and vile abuser of power can create, support, and maintain.

I am aware that Barack Obama did not cause the failure of the blowout preventer and cause oil to stream at unimaginable velocity into the gulf. But as we make examples of Tony Hayward, we make such examples here: it happened on his watch, and I cannot imagine his discomfort at being required to sit dumbly and dour with his thumb up his ass, unable to do anything at all for fear of the industrial machine that will surely gobble him up if he bitches too loudly, and eventually cut off the flow of power.

It must be noted, and I suspect this is patently obvious, that this has happened before. George W. Bush. William Clinton. George H.W. Bush. Ronald Reagan. Jimmy Carter. Gerald Ford. Richard Nixon. The litany stretches back the the beginning days, the “founding fathers”, and does not stop there, mind you. Politics graced the walls of the cave paintings of primitive man.

It must also be noted that these people, US presidents all, are from all walks of life, represent every political party of a certain belief , and are not condemnable for being a “republican” or a “democrat”; only for being a politician, and the boss of the barn. Impossible to imagine George W. Bush responsible for anything at all, given the fecund stupidity of the man. These elite political prostitutes serve as madam in a house filled with disgusting and disdainful also-rans who's main agenda is to further their power and wealth by undermining each other by any grotesque means available to them, all on the payroll of whatever company can afford their services.

In the end, I will assert it should not be hard to revile a beloved president. And I will also assert this one has finally, completely, won my revulsion.

Sifting our way through the house of representatives, the senate floor, the supreme court, the state and local officials who occupy the incubation space of this perverse and dysfunctional political world, we find the major stars and bit-part role players who are simply lining up with their hands out, poised prostrate before the men and women wielding the checkbooks attached to industries that pervert and decimate our world and remove our chances for real security, welfare, and liberty.

In November of 2008, pressing a finger to a screen with a smile on my face and a glint of adoration in my eyes, I cast my vote for a shot at the latest batch of these monstrous pigs. In casting my final vote for another slick and well tuned pet of major industry, I helped elect another president, forgetting that the one who did not get elected was every bit as vile and horrifying, just attached to another set of values similar to this one, but worded in a different way to curry favor with the other guys.

Everyone who pressed the buttons are in my shoes. Nobody won, nor did anyone lose. We all simply shoved a new madam to the top floor of a brightly lit and well appointed bawdyhouse, and filled the other rooms of other overdecorated buildings with his associated painted men and women, repopulating Washington DC with fresh, greedy faces and giving purpose to insulting bumper stickers and overwrought, tearful, broadcasts from million-dollar a month newsies.

And while stories are dangled in front of us of how bad it is in every country but here, we sit in thrall before forty-seven inch screens, change the channel to see the Real Housewives of whatever shithole they're filming in this week, all in hi-def, grateful to know that at least we aren't suffering taxes and living costs as high as those poor Canadians or British or Germans, yet all the while blissfully unaware that the average American actually is, by the time they're done with the accounting and looking at what little is left. The advantage of new media for politicians is that when American Idol is on, you can't see which congressman is feltating which CEO, down on their knees with a grateful look in their eyes. We think of Joe Barton, but we can't rule out any: they all perform this service. When agenda-driven newsies pick at each other's eyes and bicker and belittle each other's woes, we lose sight that the point they argue is in fact inarguable and irrelevant, but it's vastly entertaining. Those foolish enough to join a side can have something to feel proud of, even if it's only something to laugh about at the office.

Thus kept in a tight little shell like a snail, we scurry to work and Starbucks and to drop little Susie off at school, aware there is something terribly wrong, told by our trusted news sources that it's “those other guys” to blame, and forever failing to recognize that the bad guys are, in the end, include our good guys.

This is not a future. It is a failure, a crime, a travesty. It is also likely to be unavoidable. Pelicans laying dead in puddles of oil are a symptom: not the beginning of the disease, but the latest clues in a long line of evidence that is glossed over and reworded and blamed on a prissy British fuckhead who attended the University of Edinburgh and couldn't have cared less if the Deepwater Horizon was an oil platform littered with eleven dead bodies or a casino in Monaco, so long as it paid his fucking bills, because let's face it: paying off every major politician in America for their “services' in order to maintain the flow of oil is spendy stuff, and there are polo events to watch.

And although a good presidential, senatorial or congressional blowjob can be had in DC for comparatively cheap – say, twenty billion dollars – there's just so many of them to work with.

Barton's a fink? Who isn't?

I have been agonizing over the idea of blogging my worries away to free up some overused anxiety and aggravation toward some of the things I have been reading lately, but I already have a job. Like a real news writer for AP said, as a blogger, I need to get out of my pajamas. I've never called Rand Paul and asked him “gee, Rand: why are you so fucking crazy?” I simply read about him and rendered an opinion. Pretty easy: leave the work to the journalists and all I have to do is ride their words to obtain my own catharsis.

So, thanks news people.

Now: being in this position leaves me with a certain freedom to focus – or not focus – on certain things that are happening. I have said plenty of snide, snippy things about oil spills and executives, banking and bankers, and nothing makes me feel better than to point out whatever latest imbecilic up-fuckery uttered by Sarah Palin, Rand Paul, Sharron Angle, Joe Wilson, Michelle Bachmann, or whatever other Pubfucker out there making their bizarre screeching noises like chicks waiting for their mamma to barf up a tasty worm.

It strikes me there are a lot of them screeching away just now, but everyone should have known it was coming. I can't find it but I read an article well before Bambam the Great was elected that asserted “you just watch: militias, gun nuts, redneck crazies will come out of the wood works the moment they announce his presidency. The craziest crazies are Republicans, and nothing brings them to a head like a Democratic government.”

Indeed, I suspect when Bambam's term is done it will seem like four or eight years of endless tailgating at a Nascar race. Living in Charlotte, North Carolina, I have seen these events up close and personal. Ain't a lot of Obama bumper stickers on them motor homes, I tell you what.

I might state that I am enjoying this flurry of insanity: nothing helps the Democratic party look better than the Republican party right now. The Tea Party, suddenly in hiding since the oil started washing ashore, still have their candidates out there saying things, and I have enjoyed watching Rand and Sharon state publicly some of the most unpopular things stated by politicians in ages, only to be shepherded away into silence to undergo a bit of political sensitivity training. Candidates that are publicly disliked and derided by their own party make for happy Novembers for the other party.

Shame, I said at one point, about Orly Taitz. The only Teabagger out there who makes Sarah Palin look like she graduated from the fifth grade, doncha know (wink).

Like anyone who feels the need to take sides (and although I don't think there is a good side to be on save this lesser evil here on the left) I leave out the Dem's failings; not because I choose to, but because I tend to be steered away from it by the media and miss the fun. Typically when I flail around seeking someone on the Democratic side to take aim at I end of with an easy target like John Edwards or PETA (which Dems hate to realize is a progressive activist organization mostly by democrats) that spews insanity as fast as it can invent things like “sea kittens.” Dems say PETA's non-partisan; that's what pubs are wishing about Rand Paul, who is scaring them by leaning away from his Libertarianism and into Republicanland.

It's a big, messy soup of money-grubbing liars of the worst magnitude. When Joe Wilson yelled “you lie” at Obama during his healthcare speech last year it was quickly shown that Obama wasn't lying about the healthcare thing per se. What the hell, though: he's lying about something, you can bet. So is Joe Wilson. Which brings me to my latest thought about the bizarre and hysterical utterances spewed clumsily by one Joe Barton. Here's the meat and potatoes:

"I'm ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday. I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown, in this case, a $20 billion shakedown."

This to Tony Hayward of BP, a man who most people wouldn't piss on if he was on fire, including Republicans like Bobby Jindal, who himself has failed to eloquently state what he was paid to say on many occasions. No, this statement came from Texas Republican Barton, certainly not a man who has benefited from BP's presence off his state's shores. Certainly not. Whatever.

The public and political response as swift and entertaining. Even John Boehner, a man who, steeled by millions of healthcare campaign dollars, stated his love of this perfect American healthcare system in one embarrassingly whorish speech, distanced himself from Barton like he had cooties.

And why not? Politicians have been playing this game for centuries. Opportunism played a role in Ceasar's line “et tu, brute?” and it plays a role in every erudite or idiotic statement made by any politician ever. “Yes we can” was a great coattail to ride on, remember, and “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants” is a long but lovely bit of phrase which Teabaggers are unaware they misuse, can barely recite, but love to misspell on their signs as they head out to their over-funded and under-attended rallies. “You lie” had a short run on both sides too, but eventually most people decided it was just rude.

Historically, I'd assert, this latest dipshittery from Joe Barton is not a big deal, just the most recent slap in the face (to me) and kiss on the ass (to Hayward) from another industry soldier/hooker. It is to be expected that somewhere, some politician would be given “the call” to send a message to that fucking rude pedantic greedy asshole CEO Tony Hayward that he's okay, we have his back, no worries. Obama hasn't been able to since he's been instructed to “get angry”, which shouldn't be an instruction at all. It should have just happened. Joe got the job.

I have heard Michelle Bachmann say some amazingly stupid things, but she's oddly stupid-proof – not the most loved Pub there is, but she's a great shill for the party, not because she's well spoken and intelligent, but because she sounds fucking crazy and makes the rest of the party look sane. “Carbon dioxide,” she stated grimly, “is portrayed as harmful, but there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.” Now, who was she pandering to there, I wonder?

It might have been a shocking tableaux, but it would have been oddly fitting to find Joe Barton giving Tony Hayward a blowjob and a hug to ease his tensions and make him feel appreciated. This happens, in one fashion or another, right? Was Barton just playing his role as paid to do by Tony, or perhaps the role his party needs him to play? Was he possibly being noble?

Nah. Barton just fell on his sword for the oil industry, as he was paid to do by someone, and it will be forgotten. These are common events, just flesh wounds, not typically fatal, and the act always includes a rubbery, simply-worded way out. This from Politico:

“I apologize for using the term ‘shakedown’ with regard to yesterday’s actions at the White House in my opening statement this morning, and I retract my apology to BP,” Barton said. “As I told my colleagues yesterday and said again this morning, BP should bear the full financial responsibility for the accident on their lease in the Gulf of Mexico. BP should fully compensate those families and businesses that have been hurt by this accident.”

See? It's all better, and besides, they need the space for the next act. Sharron Angle is warming up.

- Politico
- CBS News

Hold on there, Holder.

And this is what they meant when they said “too big to fail.”

Eric Holder, Attorney General and overall optimist stated at one point or another his intentions to go after the banking industry; repeating from a WaPo article he said the DOJ would Investigate, prosecute, and incarcerate them bad, bad bankers. Grr, Tim.

And why not? The results, the public is led to believe, of banker's actions over the last decade or so has been linked on more than one occasion to the current financial crisis, so much one might think DOJ could go after them for reckless endagerment at the very least. Open, shut.

Nope. Can't. Why? "...In part because they would essentially criminalize an entire business model in the financial industry."

Turns out DOJ also feels all-the-sudden-like the banks didn't do anything wrong, meaning illegal. According to former official Tim Coleman “this was a case, in general, of people making business judgments and taking risks and having them go badly. That's not criminal misconduct."

And all the talk about illegal activity, there were executives who know what was happening and taking no action or planning to capitalize form it? Nah. Didn't happen.

Too big to fail has a new meaning: too big to attack later. It's as if these massive organizations have become completely invisible. Can't fight what you can't (or fail) fail to see, huh Mr. Holder?

Source: WaPo

For God's Sake: Benny Rides the Line.

By “Benny,” I mean a man among my least favorite people in the world: The Pontiff Himself of the Roman Catholic Church, Pope Benedict XVI.

And my “rides the line” I mean he stays the course he's stayed with from the start with this whole child abuse among the clergy thing: it's a sin.

Sorry God, please forgive us. Oh, and you people, sorry to you too, we sinned. AP reported that The Pontiff puked up another dose of sin-calling without a lot of substance behind it, which is – if not surprising – getting tiring.

I might state first:

- It is completely digestible and believable to read some reports that the incidence of child molestation and abuse among Catholic Priests is roughly equivalent to the secular world: they are people, after all, and the percentage reflects that fact with clear symmetry.

- It is also completely understandable, I might add predictable, that Benny says what he says about it: he's the Pope, for fuck's sake, and that means he's not just on the hook for his obligatory response to the world in regards to this mess, but he's responsible for a mitigating it – thus he's going to say it how he must. George Bush said “Mission Accomplished” not because the mission was accomplished, but because in the face of poll numbers headed for single digits he had to say something positive about that bloody fiasco. Bill Clinton said “I did not have sex with that woman” because, let's face it, even though we all knew he did it, the idea was repulsive. You Gotta say what the job requires in the spirit of the (job's) greater good , no matter what it is, and screw the rest of you.

Having said that: It is completely degrading to the world as a fitting place where humans reside for Benny to preclude the mention of the illegal traits and aspects of this sickening mess. Never mind the age of consent in Vatican City at the ripe old and experienced age of 12, which is foul enough. Never mind the clever special circumstances where a “dependency” relationship exists between an adult and a 15 year old makes sex a legal “go”.

Fine. Lets also never mind the Pope. I know he's the Grand Doo Doo, but he's not the one who did it, he's just the one blubbering this inane defense about sin in the absence of law. How it is that a common citizen of most countries can be hunted down like a foul animal (excluding Roman Polanski, who keeps scoring a creative bye, for the moment) yet priests tap dance away like the angels they aren't?

So I don't want to hear anything he has to say about it. I don't want to hear that snide, pedantic, asswipe CEO of BP spew any more of his asinine, regurgitative stupidity; in the same vein I do not want to hear the Pope talk about this. I want to hear the priests. The accused. They are the ones who need to answer, not their boss.

And I want to hear the judges as the verdicts are read. The issue of sin is irrelevant. The issue is about crime, and we simply can't call this anything else.

25 percent? Really?

Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.
- John Quincy Adams


I am Heartbroken.

These midterms, they get under your skin, with all that cheesy low-level squabbling between candidates that's far more redolent of high school hazing than what one gets with a presidential election cycle. And between that bizarre noise made by conservative media that “women are breaking new ground in these elections” (which completely overlooks ground broken by Liberal women for decades), and the inclusion of some damned scary candidates out there, one particular bit of news rocked me to my core.

Orly lost.

You know: Orly Taitz - the Israeli transplant who, to this day, fails to recognize the fact Barack Obama is the president of the United States despite her claims he's Nigerian-born and unfit to run - was a campaign possible for secretary of State for California. She garnered 372,490 votes, not quite enough to knock her opponent Damon Dunn off the ballot with his 1,075,337 votes, but it still begs a question of elephantine importance: there are really three hundred and seventy-odd thousand Californians who voted for her? Holy shit, California is scary.

Meanwhile, I am devastated – in much the same way I feel Sarah Palin is a ticket killer the moment she ever runs for anything including tryouts for a local school play, Orly was another ticket killer, certain to bring the state's republican purview to it's knees despite her claim she would make certain all elected officials were legally viable candidates...just like what she did with Obama. Or not.

Sad, but at least now she can get back to what she does best: incurring fines for dropping off profoundly imbecilic legal filings in courtrooms everywhere.