Barton's a fink? Who isn't?

I have been agonizing over the idea of blogging my worries away to free up some overused anxiety and aggravation toward some of the things I have been reading lately, but I already have a job. Like a real news writer for AP said, as a blogger, I need to get out of my pajamas. I've never called Rand Paul and asked him “gee, Rand: why are you so fucking crazy?” I simply read about him and rendered an opinion. Pretty easy: leave the work to the journalists and all I have to do is ride their words to obtain my own catharsis.

So, thanks news people.

Now: being in this position leaves me with a certain freedom to focus – or not focus – on certain things that are happening. I have said plenty of snide, snippy things about oil spills and executives, banking and bankers, and nothing makes me feel better than to point out whatever latest imbecilic up-fuckery uttered by Sarah Palin, Rand Paul, Sharron Angle, Joe Wilson, Michelle Bachmann, or whatever other Pubfucker out there making their bizarre screeching noises like chicks waiting for their mamma to barf up a tasty worm.

It strikes me there are a lot of them screeching away just now, but everyone should have known it was coming. I can't find it but I read an article well before Bambam the Great was elected that asserted “you just watch: militias, gun nuts, redneck crazies will come out of the wood works the moment they announce his presidency. The craziest crazies are Republicans, and nothing brings them to a head like a Democratic government.”

Indeed, I suspect when Bambam's term is done it will seem like four or eight years of endless tailgating at a Nascar race. Living in Charlotte, North Carolina, I have seen these events up close and personal. Ain't a lot of Obama bumper stickers on them motor homes, I tell you what.

I might state that I am enjoying this flurry of insanity: nothing helps the Democratic party look better than the Republican party right now. The Tea Party, suddenly in hiding since the oil started washing ashore, still have their candidates out there saying things, and I have enjoyed watching Rand and Sharon state publicly some of the most unpopular things stated by politicians in ages, only to be shepherded away into silence to undergo a bit of political sensitivity training. Candidates that are publicly disliked and derided by their own party make for happy Novembers for the other party.

Shame, I said at one point, about Orly Taitz. The only Teabagger out there who makes Sarah Palin look like she graduated from the fifth grade, doncha know (wink).

Like anyone who feels the need to take sides (and although I don't think there is a good side to be on save this lesser evil here on the left) I leave out the Dem's failings; not because I choose to, but because I tend to be steered away from it by the media and miss the fun. Typically when I flail around seeking someone on the Democratic side to take aim at I end of with an easy target like John Edwards or PETA (which Dems hate to realize is a progressive activist organization mostly by democrats) that spews insanity as fast as it can invent things like “sea kittens.” Dems say PETA's non-partisan; that's what pubs are wishing about Rand Paul, who is scaring them by leaning away from his Libertarianism and into Republicanland.

It's a big, messy soup of money-grubbing liars of the worst magnitude. When Joe Wilson yelled “you lie” at Obama during his healthcare speech last year it was quickly shown that Obama wasn't lying about the healthcare thing per se. What the hell, though: he's lying about something, you can bet. So is Joe Wilson. Which brings me to my latest thought about the bizarre and hysterical utterances spewed clumsily by one Joe Barton. Here's the meat and potatoes:

"I'm ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday. I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown, in this case, a $20 billion shakedown."

This to Tony Hayward of BP, a man who most people wouldn't piss on if he was on fire, including Republicans like Bobby Jindal, who himself has failed to eloquently state what he was paid to say on many occasions. No, this statement came from Texas Republican Barton, certainly not a man who has benefited from BP's presence off his state's shores. Certainly not. Whatever.

The public and political response as swift and entertaining. Even John Boehner, a man who, steeled by millions of healthcare campaign dollars, stated his love of this perfect American healthcare system in one embarrassingly whorish speech, distanced himself from Barton like he had cooties.

And why not? Politicians have been playing this game for centuries. Opportunism played a role in Ceasar's line “et tu, brute?” and it plays a role in every erudite or idiotic statement made by any politician ever. “Yes we can” was a great coattail to ride on, remember, and “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants” is a long but lovely bit of phrase which Teabaggers are unaware they misuse, can barely recite, but love to misspell on their signs as they head out to their over-funded and under-attended rallies. “You lie” had a short run on both sides too, but eventually most people decided it was just rude.

Historically, I'd assert, this latest dipshittery from Joe Barton is not a big deal, just the most recent slap in the face (to me) and kiss on the ass (to Hayward) from another industry soldier/hooker. It is to be expected that somewhere, some politician would be given “the call” to send a message to that fucking rude pedantic greedy asshole CEO Tony Hayward that he's okay, we have his back, no worries. Obama hasn't been able to since he's been instructed to “get angry”, which shouldn't be an instruction at all. It should have just happened. Joe got the job.

I have heard Michelle Bachmann say some amazingly stupid things, but she's oddly stupid-proof – not the most loved Pub there is, but she's a great shill for the party, not because she's well spoken and intelligent, but because she sounds fucking crazy and makes the rest of the party look sane. “Carbon dioxide,” she stated grimly, “is portrayed as harmful, but there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.” Now, who was she pandering to there, I wonder?

It might have been a shocking tableaux, but it would have been oddly fitting to find Joe Barton giving Tony Hayward a blowjob and a hug to ease his tensions and make him feel appreciated. This happens, in one fashion or another, right? Was Barton just playing his role as paid to do by Tony, or perhaps the role his party needs him to play? Was he possibly being noble?

Nah. Barton just fell on his sword for the oil industry, as he was paid to do by someone, and it will be forgotten. These are common events, just flesh wounds, not typically fatal, and the act always includes a rubbery, simply-worded way out. This from Politico:

“I apologize for using the term ‘shakedown’ with regard to yesterday’s actions at the White House in my opening statement this morning, and I retract my apology to BP,” Barton said. “As I told my colleagues yesterday and said again this morning, BP should bear the full financial responsibility for the accident on their lease in the Gulf of Mexico. BP should fully compensate those families and businesses that have been hurt by this accident.”

See? It's all better, and besides, they need the space for the next act. Sharron Angle is warming up.

- Politico
- CBS News


  1. There should actually be criminal charges against BP executives, including the one who overrode the engineers and ordered a shortcut to be taken just just to save a few bucks, not to mention the ones who knew there were problems with this well (and others still at risk) for the last 11 months (New York Times, etc). We might as well throw Barton in with his favorite robot
    Tony (or is Barton's Tony's robot? (yes, I don't think Tony Dear is human, he's just badly programmed, so now they have selected another mouthpiece to replace him --I wonder if he'll also have a foot to put in it?)

    You know historians tell us we're supposed to look for patterns, for trends that can be better perceived over a longer span of time. Ha! It's pretty clear the system of nation states we've been having for the last few hundred years is being replaced by a system of international corporations....

    And of course the BP people knew all about blow outs because they and other oil companies have had many of them off the coasts of Nigeria and other third world countries. They have been spewing oil in the water and on land and ruining people with impunity because they've paid up their govts.

    But of course this didn't and couldn't happen here 'cause we're soooo civilized, right?! --and anyway, all that nasty stuff in the water couldn't affect "us" 'cause you know, it's happening so far from here...

    (currents? Did you say water moves around the world? Now that's ridiculous! You must be some sort of goddamn socialist!)

  2. They can stop the this disaster tomorrow. Seriously. According to an oilfield engineer in Canada, all they have to do is blow the well. Collapse it in on itself. No more millions of barrels of oil befouling the ocean.

    Of course that would mean not being able to drill there again....

  3. Kati, Darling, there are physical laws which govern fluid- and aero-dynamics that Democrats do not understand.

    1 - Smoke stays in the smoking section. Phillip Morris can probably prove this.
    2 - Oil in the gulf stays in the gulf. Why? Because a body at rest tends to stay at rest. BP can probably prove this, and besides, I can't see no oil here, can you? No. Rush Limbaugh says we're fine, and he says so we don't need that pesky scientific fact stuff.

    Messy: Article out there somewhere from a blogger who's been in the biz for a while, called "BP really wants to stop the leak...but they want that oil more." They'll blow it when the returns diminish. So long as the united States Government continues to offer $20bbn slaps on the wrist, they'll keep letting that potential $350bbn well spew. Why fix what you can profit from?

  4. I've heard that blowing up the well could indeed stop it OR it could make it much much worse... Russian roulette, hey. (literally, since it's the Russians who are advocating nuking the leak --hmmmm)