Beatitudes and commandments, meet Madison Avenue; pedophiles still peek over the event horizon of the soul in the age of GoDaddy ads.

I have as much authority as the pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin

The following appears courtesy UK times Online:

“I think of the immense suffering caused by the abuse of children, especially within the Church and by her ministers. Above all, I express my deep sorrow to the innocent victims of these unspeakable crimes, along with my hope that the power of Christ's grace, his sacrifice of reconciliation, will bring deep healing and peace to their lives.

I also acknowledge with you the shame and humiliation which all of us have suffered because of these sins; and I invite you to offer it to the Lord with trust that this chastisement will contribute to the healing of victims, the purification of the Church and the renewal of her age-old commitment to the education and care of young people. I express my gratitude for the efforts being made to address this problem responsibly, and I ask all of you to show your concern for the victims and solidarity with your priests.”

- Pope Benedict XVI

As an example of critical proclamations made by an endless chain of self-serving appointed apologetes sitting in the papal capacity, this little statement by His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI doesn't quite stand out as a world-changer, but the crystal-clear message he sends is, at best, typical and disturbing: “we remain above any sort of insult from those outside our walls, not only because we carry a deeper message and utmost ecclesiastical importance compared to those who insult us, but because we have big time God-cred the likes of which you simpleminded, sinning little fuckers will never have.”

All this I glean from one little segment of his speech: he discusses the “...shame and humiliation all of us have suffered...”

To which I might reply, with much due disrespect: “you, sir, didn't suffer shit-all, nor did your stable of sex offenders, other than a confidence problem and a PR mess. On the other hand, I understand that sodomy performed on very young children is quite shameful and humiliating, not to mention painful, and the litany of other sex crimes perpetrated by agents of the Church, by The Church, in view of The Church, and under the protection of The Church, are likely equally shameful and humiliating to the victims. They scream, Bennie. They beg for it to stop. They kill themselves years later, knowing in that dead spot your faith leaves in their own souls God wasn't home all those days they were abused. They suffered shame and humiliation, Bennie.

As for you? I say you and your flock live in a pretty fucked up place in your heads to take this so lightly.”

And, I'll throw in for good measure: “by the way, nice job, Bennie, doing all you are doing to correct this.”

Yeah, right. Burying the issue in the term “homosexuality” – even when the victims are eleven year old girls – was brilliant on-point marketing, since the faith's followers hear the word “fag” and run screaming from the horrors of another droll, daily reality and tithe harder than ever to stamp out the scourge. Relocation of priests has always been a good measure as well, since we all know a change in scenery can instantly heal sexual predators of their sick perversion, and really; how can priests gain access to young children when they've burned through the supply or trusting parents at home?

I intentionally overlook the numbers and the environmental factors behind this lunacy-couched-in-divinity – facts and figures about the deeper issues vary, but it would be a fair argument to state the percentage of sexual offenders in the population of the church's priesthood is at the very least equal to the percentage of same in the general population of the unwashed heathens they look down upon. And also a there is the obvious statement that not all Catholic priests are scumbag sex offenders, but an unsurprising number of scumbag sex offenders are Catholic priests.

Looking at this environmentally depends upon where you look from. At one instance of the negative view: a frail man, afflicted with the horrors that are this life, seeking the succor and solace of scriptures and theological study, the life of a committed holy man. Relieve him by dictum of the burden of all sexual contact. Statistically you will create – no matter how you try not to – a sexually frustrated and potentially dangerous man every now and again, as we've already discussed that these men exist in all walks of life. Another view: priests are just a bunch of screwed up men lacking a natural ability to cope with reality, out looking for answers. Note: men generally need to fuck things, because they are supposed to by design. Plug them into the dysfunctional, male-dominant culture based upon the pious and rigorous worship of a nasty-tempered, imaginary deity, and you breed some men who want to fuck all the wrong things, which is made wrong-er by the fact these are supposed to be holy people, which proves nothing is really holy, and we digress ad infinitum.

Insert your view here. It really doesn't matter for the sake of this article. Bennie simply makes clear a fact which seems to be gaining press of late simply by dint of it's putrid nature – everyone hates child abusers – and agelessness: I find Sinead O'Connor about as interesting as a bag of week-old groceries as an artist, but in the end she really became famous for publicly accusing The Church of sexual abuse in her home country. Eighteen. Years. Ago. Issue didn't pop up yesterday, now did it? It's been at the very least a side joke since I was a kid, and I am a lot closer to fifty than forty. How long before that, we all might wonder?

And it sure as hell isn't getting any better. Bennie, the current man on the street in papal regalia, has thrown down not an apology, but a nastygram to his followers: “Pray. Fuck you, but pray. Not just for you. For us. When you pray, you talk to The Man, and that means you aren't talking to or about us, which is good because we can't deflect this shit, as usual. You matter, sure, because you make us wealthy and powerful. But never forget: we matter more.”

Apology is not apostasy, but something had to be said, and who expected His Holiness to come out swinging the ax at the necks of the guilty? “Guilty as sin” isn't a non-sectarian pejorative statement, it's an axiom this time. When God is riding pillion on your fame, rather then the inverse, healing the worst possible wounds is just a well-run ad campaign away.


  1. "I express my gratitude for the efforts being made to address this problem responsibly,"

    What does that mean, 'without bringing those nasty policemen into it'?
    Where was he when they retired Cardinal Law to the Vatican? Convicts himself with every word out of his mouth.

  2. I think that the priesthood is a place that men with very nasty - er- tendencies seek out, because they figure that a life of celibacy is the best way to "prove" to themselves that they're good people rather than nasty little perverts.

    Just a thought.

  3. Uh, sure. It's no one's fualt and it's everyone's fault. No harm, no foul. (Said the Vatican's former chief enforcer.)