Money over love: BP shows its hand, finally.

With this quote from the New York Times earlier today, the case is made for the fully-sponsored failure (or to insiders, victory) of the current administration: “A technician with knowledge of the operation said that it was unlikely that the well would be left shut beyond the test period, given the risk that the pressure could eventually cause problems within the well and given that with the new cap BP should soon be able to collect all the oil.”

“Tarball Brown” is the new green, unless you're talking about BP and the US government's obvious motives, and even then it's still cash-green.

Ever since these greedy fuckers started painting everything in the gulf brown, there has been speculation that the Obama administration was playing “hands off” with BP for two very good reasons: first; oil money elects and protects American politicians, and second; you can't blow up the well to seal it because if you do you can't get the oil.

Fuck the fishermen.
Fuck the whales.
Fuck the beaches, the dolphins, the hotels, the entire Gulf. We don't need the Gulf. We need oil, and the president, house of representatives, judges and the whole reeking prostitution ring that is Washington need the money it generates to remain in power.

Besides, it's just a little oil. Rush Limbaugh said so.

Better, you see, to keep devastating the gulf day after day, month after month, to look for a way to get the oil out later than to shut if off fast and lose the financial opportunity.

That cute little $20 billion wrist-slap the administration levied upon BP is a pathetic trifle compared to the wealth they will gain in the end, and it'll be a trifle compared to what damage they have done.

No matter. We all know the history books will reflect the same punitive pussy-footing that was executed upon Exxon after their issue in Prince William Sound. The damage will be re-written to resemble tiny little specks of black goop on the beaches, penalties will be rolled back, bankrupted away, and reversed in courtrooms, and just like Exxon BP will waltz gracefully back into the riches befitting an oil company.

Some say BP will fail over this. Nah. The board of directors is likely to be found already looking for either a way to bribe and threaten their way out of the legal mess, or more simply a corporate restructure and a new name with another pretty green logo. Either way, they will be seeking a way to profit from this little splash of oil in the gulf, the better to protect their futures and the riches which remain safely – and still obtainable – below the seabed.

And in whatever guise they present themselves after the last turtle dies on the beach, you will find the costars of the show – Obama, Palin, Barton – down on their knees in front of those directors, mouths open, hands outstretched, practicing what politicians do best: campaign fellatio. Deep-throating their way into power, the hottest porn stars in the kingdom gyrating under the lights with grim faces and willing minds, grotesquely uncaring that we are watching them do it.

And we, while watching, voting for them because there is no one better to vote for. Apparently we like the show.


  1. You're so right Schuyler! But why are we influenced by all those ads? If we boycotted them, wouldn't our politicians be a least a little bit more honest?

  2. Gosh Katie - I have a lot of difficulty with the concept of politicking to begin with. It's not about the money - that's the means to the end. I have a suspicion that if the finances were removed, politicians would simply find more devious, and insidious, ways to get their doses of power.